When Respect Life is Personal

A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of accompanying Mrs. Miltner and her husband, along with four of their friends, to a dinner in Iowa City.  

The dinner was part of an event to support an organization in Iowa City that provides free medical care to young women, particularly college women, who are pregnant.  In addition to providing these young women with medical care, their mission is to provide them with accurate information and guide them toward choosing life over abortion.

In addition to hearing about the clinic’s services, we listened to a guest speaker by the name of Pam Stenzel.  Pam is a fierce opponent of abortion.  She spoke from the heart as she told story after story of young women who suffered the physical effects and the emotional scars of abortion.  She also shared beautiful stories of those who chose life and, through the support of their families, their communities and organizations such as Birthright and Bridgehaven, brought children into the world and raised them in a loving environment.  When I say she is a fierce opponent of abortion, I mean she has zero tolerance.  In her world, no abortion is ever justified.  She chastises those who say things such as, “what about in the case of rape?”  You may wonder, “What gives her the right to tell the victim of a rape that she should go through with the pregnancy?”  Her answer is simple.  Pam Stenzel is adopted.  Her biological mother was raped and chose to carry her baby to term.  When that baby was born, she gave the baby up for adoption.  You guessed it, Pam Stenzel is that baby.  A real-life fireball of advocacy for life would never had been born had her mother made the choice to end Pam’s life before she ever left the womb.  God truly works in mysterious ways.

When you live as long as I have, stories like Pam’s trigger memories of stories that are similar.  Stories like good friends of mine from my days in Dubuque – friends whose daughter became pregnant when she was a sophomore in college.  Aside from the issues of putting her education and her career on hold, his daughter, as a single mother, would face the daunting task of raising a child alone.  Knowing her parents for as long as I have, their response didn’t surprise me.  Rather than worry about the social stigma of unwed pregnancy and the unavoidable change in the path of their daughter’s life and quite frankly their own lives, my friends immediately focused on the new impending life and how they could help their daughter through the challenging times.  With her parents support and assistance, this young lady gave that child the beautiful gift of life.  

Pam’s story also brought back the memory of my brother Dan.  When he was a freshmen in college, his girlfriend (his HS sweetheart) called to tell him she was pregnant.  She too decided to give her child the gift of life and my brother dropped out of Penn State to support her.  They were married before the birth of their son, moved in with her parents and raised that child.  That child, by the way, graduated first in his class from MIT ten years ago.  

The final story I’m reminded of is that of a 19 year old Italian girl from South Philadelphia who became pregnant shortly after high school.  With the support of her Irish immigrant boyfriend from West Philly, she too chose to give her child the gift of life.  That child, by the way, is your principal.

Most statistical sources estimate the number of abortions in the U.S to be well over one million per year.  That’s one million too many.  Since the Roe vs. Wade decision, 58 MILLION abortions have been performed in the United States.  That, my friends, is a war on children.  

The 400 crosses that are placed in our courtyard represent 4000 babies who lose their lives each day as a result of abortion.  

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.  

Eternal God, we ask that you offer Your hand of protection to those threatened by abortion, and save them from its destructive power. Give Your strength to all mothers and fathers, that they may never give in to the fears that may tempt them to deny life to the unborn. 

Give strength to those who feel threatened and overwhelmed by their pregnancy. Intercede for them, inspire those in their lives to support them, and give them the grace to say yes and the courage to choose life.

We ask this through Christ, our Lord.  Amen.

FTK - NFHS Summer Luncheon Closing Comments 2024

 

F-T-K

Who would have thought three simple letters could stimulate so much conversation.  Who would have thought those three letters could give us a common goal.  Who would have thought those three letters would end up on t-shirts, rally towels and posters. 

I introduced many of you to FTK during the 2023 Legal Meeting.  What started as a funny story soon turned into a mantra that would drive the year of this Philly boy’s presidency. 

If you’re not familiar with the story, turn to those at your table.  It’s likely someone there will know it.

What I have shared throughout the year…continue to share today…and encourage all of you to remain true to…is to remember that everything we do is For the Kids.  The nature of our business is that adults develop rules, regulations, policies, and guidelines.  Adults create schedules.  Adults prepare practice plans and game plans.  Adults blow the whistles, enforce the rules, and raise the score cards.  Adults organize and conduct state championships and other events.  But it is the kids who are impacted by the actions of those adults.  Only when the adults who are involved keep our students, our kids, at the forefront, will we be able to say that education-based activities make a difference in their lives.  Only when we as adults remember that we are responsible for the “education” in education-based activities, will our programs have the impact we desire.  The moment we forget that it’s all For The Kids, the moment we begin to believe it is about us as adults, is the moment everything we do becomes for naught.

I applaud those state associations who have initiated Student Advisory Committees.  You have given a voice to those who are most directly impacted by the work we do.  You have sent a powerful message that you are indeed, For The Kids.  And if your experience with those student advisors is anything like mine has been, you realize how passionate they are.  How in tune with their classmates they are.  How concerned they are.  And how much they truly appreciate the opportunity to be involved.

 

F-T-K

Yes, Let’s be For The Kids.  But let’s not stop there.  As I have all year, I continue to challenge all of us to commit to not only, “For The Kids,” but to also commit to, “For ALL The Kids.”  If the benefits of education-based activities are as important as we say, we should not rest until we give every student the opportunity to participate.  Until we remove every barrier (whether financial, time, transportation, or anything else that keeps those who truly want to be a part of our programs from doing so, we should not rest.  Until we partner with schools, parents, and communities to address those barriers, we should not rest.

F-T-K

And if we are truly For The Kids, if we are truly For ALL the Kids, it is our responsibility to uphold the principles of Education-Based Activities, to protect the integrity of Education-Based Activities.  It is our responsibility to ensure that our activities programs are not simply “education-based” in name only.  We must be intentional about infusing the culture of our schools into those programs.  The focus on respect, dignity, hard work, goal setting, improvement, positive relationships, and support for each other, among other things must be taken to the field, the court, the track, the pool, the stage, and any other athletics/activities arena.  In short, what is expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the classrooms and halls is also to be expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the athletic and fine arts programs.  The phrase, “education-based activities” is not to be dismissed.  To dismiss it is to dismiss the very core values we hold to in our schools.  To dismiss it relegates our programs to recreational pastimes with no concern for the impact they can have on our young people.

At the end of the day, it’s about setting ourselves apart.  We invest a great deal of time and resources into our activities programs.  What is the return on investment?  The ROI is young people who positively impact their schools, their communities, and their world.  Recreational programs have a place in young people’s lives.  Club programs have a place in young people’s lives.  What separates education-based programs from those recreational and club programs is their intentional connection to the culture our students experience throughout the day in our schools.  Only when we emphasize the “education” in education-based activities will we deliver the true value of our programs.

If we are truly For The Kids, we will remain committed to the value of Education-Based Activities.

F-T-K

If not us, then who?  If not now, then when? 

Let’s be relentlessly For The Kids.  Let’s be relentlessly For ALL The Kids.  

Heroes

 

Whenever I get a chance, I try to find something to read about leadership.  Might be an article.  Might be a blog.  Might be a book.  One of the articles I read recently challenged me to think about what inspires me.  That is, what brings out the best in me. 

 

And whenever I think about inspiration, I always end up thinking about people who are inspiring.  You know, those people we look up to.  Role models.  People who, in our eyes, have done great things and give us the motivation to do great things ourselves. 

 

My sources of inspiration have changed over time.  Like a lot of little kids, I progressed from superheroes – Superman, Batman, Spiderman - to sports heroes –  Hank Aaron, Mike Schmidt, Julius Erving, Walt Frazier, Bobby Clarke, Harold Carmichael.  I even dabbled in music and movie heroes – the Beatles, Eric Clapton, Elton John, Al Pacino, Robert Redford, Sean Connery.  I got a little more serious about my inspiration when I looked to Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. for that inspiration.

 

What I didn’t realize was that while I was busy looking outside my home for my inspiration, the greatest inspiration in my world was living with me every day.  I’m proud to say that although it took me some time to figure it out, it was my dad who has truly been my greatest inspiration.  People wouldn’t consider my father an extraordinary man.  He didn’t fight in a war.  He didn’t cure a disease.  He never wrote a book.  He didn’t accumulate great wealth.  He didn’t lead a nation.  All this immigrant from Ireland did was finish his education, work – without missing a day – for nearly 50 years (35 with the same company), stay married to the same woman until she died 40 years later, was home every night to help raise three sons, visited his mother at least once per week and made sure my brothers and I had plenty of responsibilities, understood right from wrong, and understood that choosing right was the only option.

It’s a cliché I know but my dad was there in the good times and the bad.  There was a lot of laughter in our house.  There were also a lot of tears.  Besides the challenges my brothers and I provided, my dad was faced with watching my mom struggle through physical illness and multiple surgeries throughout her life.  So often he was as much a caretaker as he was a husband.  His challenges were greatest though when I was a junior in high school.  That was the year my mom attempted suicide.  She spent considerable time in what we called then a mental institution, trying to deal with clinical depression.  We were all thankful that she eventually recovered.  Through it all, my dad stayed by her side, stayed connected to us and most importantly – stayed.  I don’t know what my brothers and I would have done if he would have decided that it was just too hard and left.  My mom passed away 19 years ago.  My dad remarried 4 years later.  His second wife had two granddaughter who was neglected and abused.  And because he couldn’t stand the thought of such horror for a child, at the age of 70, my dad adopted and helped raise a 14 year old girl.  He just kept doing what he always did – sacrifice for others.

I thought the world of my dad when I was a little guy.  In high school I came to believe I was much smarter than he was and all of a sudden I was making mistakes, learning lessons the hard way.  By the time I had my own sons, my dad got smarter again.  Just in time because quite frankly, if I had to go through this being a father stuff alone, I don’t know what I’d do.

From the time I left Philly and came to Iowa to go to college, I talked to my dad every Sunday and often during the week.  Sometimes we had a lot to share, sometimes not so much.  But I’m grateful for every one of those conversations. 

 

The last conversation I had with him was during Holy Week of 2012.  He died on Good Friday.  He was 77.  Although he certainly didn’t take away the sins of the world, it seemed appropriate to me that God chose Good Friday to bring home a man who had sacrificed so much for his family and others.

 

My dad is gone but his inspiration lives inside of me.  The model he was for how to live a life is something that will never die.  I can only hope to be the half the man he was.

 

So how does this play out for you.  I guess all I’m saying is that when you’re looking for inspiration, look to two places.  Look to the Cross where you will find the ultimate inspiration.  And look inside your own home.  If you really pay attention, the inspiration may overwhelm you.

 

 

Cleared for Takeoff

 

This year’s NFHS Winter Meeting, a professional conference for Executive Directors of State Associations was held in San Francisco.  Great city.  Great trip.  Great conference.  The only snag I hit was on the trip back to Iowa when the first leg of my flight was delayed by two hours, making it impossible to catch my connecting flight in Denver.  Like any good administrator, I went into problem-solving mode and was able to rebook a later connecting flight.  So, at least the end of this story had a happy ending.

Flight delays happen for a variety of reasons – mechanical trouble, weather, planes arriving late from previous destinations, etc.  The delay I experienced was caused by a lack of recovery time for the crew that was assigned to my flight.  When I was notified of the delay, the cynic in me was tempted to think, “Seriously?  What’s the big deal?  They couldn’t suck it up for two hours?”  But we all know the FAA has rules in place regarding required rest and recovery time.  Those rules are in place to protect those of us flying.  I have a deep (but unspoken) appreciation for a flight crew that is well rested, alert, and on their game.  If you don’t share that same appreciation, I suggest you see the movie, “Flight” starring Denzel Washington.  Yes I was inconvenienced by the delay but when it came out of concern for my safety, I can live with that.

This “rest and recovery” concept got me thinking about the value of similar guidelines for those of us in administrative/leadership positions.  While there are no laws requiring a minimum period of rest and recovery for superintendents, principals, assistant principals, athletic directors, and other administrators prior to performing our responsibilities, it stands to reason that we are all more likely to be at our best for those we serve when we have taken care of ourselves.  We are the “pilots” of our staff, our schools, and our school communities.  It is our responsibility to be at our best to navigate whatever journey we are on with them.

 

The importance of our physical and mental health cannot be overstated.  The unfortunate reality is that too many of us pay much less attention to our health than we should.  Too often we neglect ourselves in order to make time for those we serve.  In that respect, I must raise my own hand and say, “Guilty.”  Need to meet with me?  “My schedule is tight, but I’ll squeeze it in.”  I didn’t get that report done so, “I’ll take it home and work on it tonight.”  Fatigue is real.  Exhaustion is real.  Anxiety is real.  And as much as we try to fight through and “rise to the occasion,” at some point it catches up to us.  We aren’t as “sharp.”  We become impatient.  We aren’t as supportive to those we lead.  We may even withdraw and do more alone and less with others. 

 

There is a necessary energy that comes with being a leader.  That energy comes from taking care of ourselves.  We can give nothing when there’s nothing to give.  Nutrition, exercise, rest, and finding time to decompress are necessary components of creating the kind of energy needed to do our challenging jobs.  A good friend of mine, Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association Executive Director Stephanie Hauser reached out to those of us in neighboring states this week and reminded all of us to take care of ourselves, noting that we do so little for ourselves because we are so busy doing for others.  She suggested we all make a commitment to take better care of ourselves and to encourage us quoted Jon Gordon who wrote, “Remember…a promise to yourself is just as important as important as a promise to others.  If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, don’t give up on it.  Your promises matter.”

 

Of course, the important question is how do we do it?  With no laws or regulations requiring us to “rest and recover,” how do we ensure that we have the energy to serve our students, staff, and communities at the level they deserve?

 

Commit to a lifestyle.  It doesn’t have to be an overhaul but make a few changes that can make a difference.  One of my favorite books is Jeff Olson’s The Slight Edge.  He makes the point that small changes can make all the difference.  For example, a person who doesn’t exercise doesn’t have to start by trying to exercise an hour a day.  By exercising (walking, jogging, elliptical, calisthenics, etc), even 20 minutes a day, at the end of the week that person will have exercised over two hours more than he/she did the week before.  I have a post-it on my bathroom mirror with four dots on it.  Each dot is a reminder to do one thing that will help me live healthier – exercise at least 30 minutes, read at least 30 minutes, no alcohol, no soda.  My goal is 15 dots or more per week.  I keep track of the dots per day on my calendar.  I’m not proud to say there are weeks when I fall below the goal.  What seems to help place those dots on the calendar is to think achieving something for the people I lead rather than thinking of it as something for myself.

Set aside “non-negotiable” personal (and in some cases professional) time.  We pay great attention to our calendars.  Some might say our calendars run us.  So, if we want time to ourselves (or time for uninterrupted work), we must schedule it.  Our Finance Director Jess Morgan has a short saying on her desk that states, “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.”  There is no such thing as time management.  Time will pass and we cannot slow it down, speed it up, or stop it.  What we can manage is how we spend that time.  We schedule important meetings, calls, events, etc.  In some respects, through requests, it is others who take control of our calendar.  We need to take that control back.  Back to back to back meetings is a recipe for exhaustion.  We need time to reflect and process.  We also need to schedule time for ourselves to do the things that contribute to our physical and mental health.  If that sounds selfish, remember that in the end, a healthier, more energized leader has a positive impact on everyone.

Delegate.  Too often we take on more than needed.  Sometimes we do that out of a sense of guilt – not wanting to “burden” others with responsibilities we could do.  Sometimes we do that out of a lack of confidence in others – believing no one could do it as well as we could.  Instead of thinking of delegating as putting a burden on someone, try thinking about it as providing opportunity for others to develop.  Instead of a lack of confidence, delegate in a way that shows others you believe in them.  Offer to serve as a resource if they need you.  Sometimes a situation makes delegating the only option and it is during those times we learn that those on our teams are more than capable of handling the responsibilities.

 

Put down the phone.  At the very least, limit the number of notifications you get by adjusting settings.  That “ding,” as we know, can be difficult to resist.  While I understand the thinking that staying in the loop is important, I also understand how “sucked in” to our phones we can get.  Looking at one message or email often leads to several minutes (if not more) tapping, scrolling and viewing.

 

Reflect.  End each day by asking, “What did I do today to be the best pilot I could be for the people I lead?”  If the answer is nothing, it would seem we have failed those we lead.  That will only be true, however, if we follow up with another day of doing nothing.

 

As leaders, we have a multitude of responsibilities, some more challenging than others, and each of those responsibilities impacts others.  Flight crews have laws and guidelines that require them to at least get the rest they need.  In the absence of laws and guidelines, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves to be at our best.  Think of it in terms of Maslow's Pyramid.  Unless those foundational level needs are met, there's no getting to top where we can make a difference.

 

We are the pilots.  Let’s make sure we’ve done everything possible to be able to say, “all systems go” when we have been cleared for takeoff.  Our “passengers” are depending on us.

Who Put the Bomp?

For most of my childhood, Saturday mornings on Timberlake Road just outside Philadelphia meant spending time cleaning the house.  I don’t remember enjoying the cleaning part but I do remember enjoying the music my mom played on the, “Hi-Fi” while we cleaned.  She was a 50’s and 60’s gal.  Supremes, Temptations, Buddy Holly, Martha and Vandellas, Four Tops, Frank Sinatra, Ronnettes, Drifters, and the occasional one-hit wonder artists.  One of those songs that occasionally got stuck in my head was a 1961 hit by Barry Mann called, “Who Put the Bomp.”  It included a chorus that went:

 

Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?

Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?

Who was that man?  I’d like to shake his hand.

“Who Put the Bomp” came to mind recently as I was thinking about, of all things, the concept of, “education-based activities.”  The National Federation of High Schools and all of our individual state high school athletic and/or activities organizations reference that phrase often.  I wondered where the phrase came from.  Or, as Barry Mann might ask, “Who put the education in education-based athletics?”  And, perhaps more importantly, whose responsibility is it to keep it there?

 

According the NFHS, “The term ‘education-based athletics/activities’ has been used frequently to describe the U.S. model of incorporating sports and other activity programs within the high school setting.”  I would offer beyond that description that “education-based” infuses the culture of the school into those programs.  The focus on respect, dignity, hard work, goal setting, improvement, positive relationships, and support for each other, among other things is taken to the field, the court, the track, the pool, the stage, and any other athletics/activities arena.  In short, what is expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the classrooms and halls is also to be expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the athletic and fine arts programs.  The phrase, “education-based activities” is not to be dismissed.  To dismiss it is to dismiss the core values we hold to in our schools.  To dismiss it relegates our programs to recreational pastimes with no concern for the impact they can have on our young people.  

 

Which takes us back to, “Who Put the Bomp?” The answer is a simple one – school administrators.  Administrators put the “education” in “education-based athletics.”  Those administrators saw the benefits of such programs and considered them an important part of the overall student experience.  In 1903, the Principals Club in Iowa formed a committee to adopt rules for high school sports.  In 1904 those rules were adopted.  In that same year, Superintendents and Principals in Iowa formed the Iowa High School Athletic Association.  So, the “bomp” of education-based activities, established by administrators, has been in place for over 100 years.

 

Since it was administrators in Iowa who implemented education-based activities over 100 years ago, it stands to reason that today’s administrators are charged with being the “keepers” of those education-based activities.  And let me repeat what I stated earlier – the phrase is not to be dismissed.  While, as administrators, we may not be directly involved in coaching or directing, we are responsible for those programs by the leaders we place in charge of the programs, and how we hold those leaders accountable to the core values of our schools.  Fortunately, many of our coaches and directors understand the culture of our schools and work to ensure that athletic and/or activities programs reflect that culture.  Unfortunately, some do not.  Whether it is a coach/director who teaches in our building but leaves the school culture at the gym/locker room/theatre door, or an out of building coach/director who may not understand the culture, they take the “bomp” out of education-based activities and shortchange our students in the process.  As keepers of education-based activities, what are we to do?

To ensure that the “education” in education-based activities remains in place, it’s important that we hold those leading our programs accountable for a consistency that what is taught throughout the day is also taught beyond the day.  For those who teach in our schools, expectations of what is considered professionally appropriate during school hours should be the same expectations when it comes to before and after school activities.  Consider language.  If we wouldn’t tolerate profanity from our teachers in the classroom, why would we tolerate it from our coaches or directors?  For those who don’t teach in our buildings, it’s important to educate them about our school culture first and then hold them to the same standards we would hold our teaching staff.

Similarly, our expectations of students in our activities programs (as participants or fans/audience) must be consistent with the expectations we have for them as students during the school day.  Public behavior is the only indication those outside our schools have about how we impact the young people we serve.  There is no more public display than that of our activities programs.  What reflection of our schools do ours convey?

 

At the end of the day it’s about setting ourselves apart.  We invest a great deal of time and resources into our activities programs.  What is the return on investment?  Recreational programs have a place in young people’s lives.  Club programs have a place in young people’s lives.  What separates education-based programs from those recreational and club programs is their intentional connection to the culture our students experience throughout the day in our schools.  Only when we emphasize the “education” (the “bomp” in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp) in education-based activities will we deliver the true value of our programs.  When a student puts on the uniform and performs in or on our facilities, let’s make sure we’ve done everything possible to ensure they are representing the true identity of our schools.  Then, as administrators, we can be the answer to Barry Mann’s question, “Who was that man (and woman)?”

 

Who Put the Bomp? 

Ego is the Enemy

 

Following the 2022 NBA Championship, Giannis Antetokounmpo shared his thoughts on ego, pride, and humility.  In simple terms, he explained that focusing on what we’ve done in the past is ego.  Focusing on what we might do in the future is pride.  Focusing on what we do in the present is humility.  He went on to talk about how important it is to him to stay humble.  Let that soak in for a minute.  A professional athlete with so much success, talking about staying humble.  How contrary is that to today’s culture of “Look at me.  Recognize me.  Celebrate me?”  Sometimes if feels as if we live in a world of three year olds looking for attention.  And then we come across such an accomplished athlete who, “gets it.”

I try to read as much as I can on the topic of leadership.  Antetokounmpo’s words reminded me of a book I recently read titled, Ego is the Enemy.  It’s simple message is, “be humble.”  Because when we put ourselves first, we’re not really serving anyone.  And if we’re not serving anyone, what impact are we having on the world?  Ego is the Enemy got me thinking about just how ego or selfishness can creep into our lives and grow like an organism.  It becomes so routine that we don’t even notice it.  Selfishness becomes the habit that is fed by our ego.  So it’s important from time to time to reflect on and evaluate ourselves in order to keep our ego in check.  It’s a valuable exercise to compare our ego to our humility.  So whattya think?  How are we doing?

Those who are humble, listen.  They listen actively, intently.  They want to understand, even those they disagree with.  Whether in a conversation with one other person, a discussion with multiple people, or a presentation if a room full of hundreds, the humble person invites others to speak, to share.  The person driven by ego has a lot to say.  Their listening is patronizing.  They simply wait (and sometimes don’t wait) for the other(s) to finish so they can say what they have been thinking.  Ego drives us to make sure others know what we think.  It is sometimes said, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you need to find another room.”  People filled with ego are always looking for the other room.  They are sure they are the smartest in the room.  Humble people understand they can always learn, can always get better.  Ego leads some to believe they have already arrived.  Are we listening?  Really listening?

 

Those who live a humble life put others first.  They praise.  They acknowledge.  They provide opportunities.  They offer support.  Ego leads us to put ourselves first.  To take credit.  To leave others out.  To seek attention, sometimes at the expense of others.  Humble leaders are backstage, making sure others have the support they need to be successful.  The person fueled by ego takes center stage, a place where the lights make it hard to see others in the room.  Where do we see ourselves, place ourselves?

 

Humble people understand that words matter.  Humility guides us to be careful with our words.  Humble people stay “above the line” when speaking to or about others.  Those driven by ego make sure to speak of themselves often and when they do speak of others frequently do so unkindly.  The ego seeks to put others down so as to appear to lift themselves up.

 

Failure is an inevitable part of any journey and life in general.  Ego leads us to blame others and blame circumstances on the setbacks we experience.  And the reality is that sometimes we fail despite our best efforts.  It is ego, however, that keeps us from admitting the failure and finding ways to overcome it.  When we are humble, we accept that we are imperfect.  We see failure as an opportunity to learn, to get better.  I know it may sound corny, but in my coaching days, I refused to use the term, “loss.”  We listed our record as W-TSB.  Wins and Temporary Set Backs.  Corny?  Maybe.  But it was part of our culture to look at failure as something that could and would be overcome.

 

To be effective leaders, it’s important to keep our egos in check.  When ego drives us, it becomes a case of, “I have seen the enemy and he is me.”  Even success is short lived when it is driven by ego.

 

Let’s follow the advice of Giannis Antetokounmpo and focus on the present.  Let’s be the models of humility for those we lead.  Let’s serve those we lead.  Let’s allow ourselves to be imperfect and commit ourselves to continuous growth. And most importantly, let’s develop future leaders who leave ego outside any room they enter. 

 

It Takes a Village

Earlier this month, IHSAA Assistant Director Todd Tharp and I participated in the “Behavior in Sport Summit” hosted by the National Federation of High Schools, the organization that serves the 51 (including D.C.) state athletic/activities associations.  The summit was part of the NFHS “Bench Bad Behavior Campaign.”  The focus of this summit was how to bring civility back into interscholastic, education-based athletics.  The goal was to share strategies needed to do so.

It saddens me a little that we have changed the words related to the environment at high school sporting events from “sportsmanship” to words like, “civility.”  It shows how far we’ve plunged.

If I could sum up my take-a-ways from the seminar, they would be:

• The problem is fan behavior, and to an extent, coach behavior.
• To solve the problem, it will take a village.

Not exactly revelations.

Let’s first acknowledge that on many game nights, students and adults represent themselves and their communities in exemplary fashion.  Credit to those who make it happen.  The unfortunate reality, however, is at way too many events, people do not. 

When it comes to changing the culture, for too long, we have “dabbled” in benching bad behavior and bringing civility back to high school sports.  And as with many challenges that seem so overwhelming that change is not likely, we shrug our shoulders, put up our hands, and say, “Whattya gonna do?”  Translation – “There’s nothing anyone can do.”  Kudos to the NFHS for refusing to accept that notion. 

So what of this village?  Who will it take to bring sportsmanship back into vogue?  Quite simply, it includes everyone involved in high school sports and specifically, everyone involved in each high school sporting event.  This is not a varsity level problem.  It’s not a JV level problem.  It’s not a freshmen level problem.  It’s an all-level problem.  So it will take everyone at every level to be the solution.  Administrators, coaches, athletes, adult fans (specifically parents), student fans, game officials, P.A. announcers, media personnel, social media personnel, school communications personnel, the staffs of the IHSAA and IGHSAU and the NFHS.  It will take all of us to establish:

• a culture of respect
• expectations for behavior
• accountability for actions

Culture

It all starts with establishing and committing to a culture.  A culture of respect.  Throughout the school and school community.  Throughout every program.  Throughout the entire coaching staff.  Throughout the entire roster of every team.  Throughout the entire fan base.  Quite frankly, I’m growing weary of leaning on the, “If this keeps up, we won’t have officials” approach.  I’ll be the first to say that officials deserve respect and should be commended for the difficult job they do.  But I just don’t see the need to tie anything to the fact that people should behave respectfully.  It should be enough to say people should treat others with respect because it’s the right thing to do.  (And for the record, yes, we are losing officials.)

Expectations

Next comes establishing and communicating expectations for how to conduct ourselves at sporting events.  With a culture of respect, this should be neither difficult nor confrontational.  Fans need to hear from administrators (especially the AD), the coaches, the athletes (and other students), the importance of a positive approach to attending a school’s athletic event.  Coaches need to hear the same message from the same people.  Athletes need to hear from administrators and coaches.  The message needs to be consistent and repetitive.  At back to school nights.  At parent meetings.  At coaches meetings.  During team goal setting.  At student assemblies.  During AD meetings with student leaders (not just student government but also those students who are the student section leaders – those visible students who others look to for how to act.)   Before the event.  During the event.  I’m prone to one liners and the one I tie to the deterioration of sportsmanship is, “We fell asleep at the wheel.”  We stopped focusing on it and now it has become a problem.  The time for, “that’s not my job” is long gone.  It’s everyone’s job.  

Accountability

Once the expectations are established, it’s time for accountability.  Accountability begins with monitoring.  I use the phrase, “antenna up” to frame the approach that’s needed when monitoring is needed.  Be aware.  Anticipate.  It’s difficult to hold people accountable if we don’t know who it was that failed to meet expectations.  It’s sad but the supervisors’ attention needs to be less on the contest and more on the fans.  If expectations have been set and shared with all, then consequences must follow when those expectations are not met.  Remember, a rule, guideline, or policy without consequences is simply a suggestion.  Our fans need to understand that the price of admission does not grant, "carte blanche" to say whatever they want to say.

Yelling at officials.  Yelling at opposing players, coaches, or fans (and sometimes yelling at our own coaches and players).  Ridiculing, trying to embarrass, making vulgar or racist comments toward opposing players, “rubbing it in” (“over-rated”).  It’s all just wrong.  And it’s time for all of us to recognize that and put an end to it.

Sportsmanship is a choice.  It Is also a matter of self-control.  It is the ability to look at something and think to ourselves, “that was a travel” or “that was a foul” without shouting it for everyone to hear.  It is the ability to understand that we are watching a “game.”  It is a respect for the people who are involved with that game.

I am proud to say that the fans at many of our schools have demonstrated respect for officials and opponents.  It is my hope that we continue to work so that “many” becomes “all.”  As I am known to preach frequently, “We either get better or worse; we never stay the same.”  I encourage all of us to keep sportsmanship a priority.  Let’s stay alert at the wheel.  Let’s be the village that raises a generation of respect.