FTK - NFHS Summer Luncheon Closing Comments 2024

 

F-T-K

Who would have thought three simple letters could stimulate so much conversation.  Who would have thought those three letters could give us a common goal.  Who would have thought those three letters would end up on t-shirts, rally towels and posters. 

I introduced many of you to FTK during the 2023 Legal Meeting.  What started as a funny story soon turned into a mantra that would drive the year of this Philly boy’s presidency. 

If you’re not familiar with the story, turn to those at your table.  It’s likely someone there will know it.

What I have shared throughout the year…continue to share today…and encourage all of you to remain true to…is to remember that everything we do is For the Kids.  The nature of our business is that adults develop rules, regulations, policies, and guidelines.  Adults create schedules.  Adults prepare practice plans and game plans.  Adults blow the whistles, enforce the rules, and raise the score cards.  Adults organize and conduct state championships and other events.  But it is the kids who are impacted by the actions of those adults.  Only when the adults who are involved keep our students, our kids, at the forefront, will we be able to say that education-based activities make a difference in their lives.  Only when we as adults remember that we are responsible for the “education” in education-based activities, will our programs have the impact we desire.  The moment we forget that it’s all For The Kids, the moment we begin to believe it is about us as adults, is the moment everything we do becomes for naught.

I applaud those state associations who have initiated Student Advisory Committees.  You have given a voice to those who are most directly impacted by the work we do.  You have sent a powerful message that you are indeed, For The Kids.  And if your experience with those student advisors is anything like mine has been, you realize how passionate they are.  How in tune with their classmates they are.  How concerned they are.  And how much they truly appreciate the opportunity to be involved.

 

F-T-K

Yes, Let’s be For The Kids.  But let’s not stop there.  As I have all year, I continue to challenge all of us to commit to not only, “For The Kids,” but to also commit to, “For ALL The Kids.”  If the benefits of education-based activities are as important as we say, we should not rest until we give every student the opportunity to participate.  Until we remove every barrier (whether financial, time, transportation, or anything else that keeps those who truly want to be a part of our programs from doing so, we should not rest.  Until we partner with schools, parents, and communities to address those barriers, we should not rest.

F-T-K

And if we are truly For The Kids, if we are truly For ALL the Kids, it is our responsibility to uphold the principles of Education-Based Activities, to protect the integrity of Education-Based Activities.  It is our responsibility to ensure that our activities programs are not simply “education-based” in name only.  We must be intentional about infusing the culture of our schools into those programs.  The focus on respect, dignity, hard work, goal setting, improvement, positive relationships, and support for each other, among other things must be taken to the field, the court, the track, the pool, the stage, and any other athletics/activities arena.  In short, what is expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the classrooms and halls is also to be expected, developed, promoted, and reinforced in the athletic and fine arts programs.  The phrase, “education-based activities” is not to be dismissed.  To dismiss it is to dismiss the very core values we hold to in our schools.  To dismiss it relegates our programs to recreational pastimes with no concern for the impact they can have on our young people.

At the end of the day, it’s about setting ourselves apart.  We invest a great deal of time and resources into our activities programs.  What is the return on investment?  The ROI is young people who positively impact their schools, their communities, and their world.  Recreational programs have a place in young people’s lives.  Club programs have a place in young people’s lives.  What separates education-based programs from those recreational and club programs is their intentional connection to the culture our students experience throughout the day in our schools.  Only when we emphasize the “education” in education-based activities will we deliver the true value of our programs.

If we are truly For The Kids, we will remain committed to the value of Education-Based Activities.

F-T-K

If not us, then who?  If not now, then when? 

Let’s be relentlessly For The Kids.  Let’s be relentlessly For ALL The Kids.  

Heroes

 

Whenever I get a chance, I try to find something to read about leadership.  Might be an article.  Might be a blog.  Might be a book.  One of the articles I read recently challenged me to think about what inspires me.  That is, what brings out the best in me. 

 

And whenever I think about inspiration, I always end up thinking about people who are inspiring.  You know, those people we look up to.  Role models.  People who, in our eyes, have done great things and give us the motivation to do great things ourselves. 

 

My sources of inspiration have changed over time.  Like a lot of little kids, I progressed from superheroes – Superman, Batman, Spiderman - to sports heroes –  Hank Aaron, Mike Schmidt, Julius Erving, Walt Frazier, Bobby Clarke, Harold Carmichael.  I even dabbled in music and movie heroes – the Beatles, Eric Clapton, Elton John, Al Pacino, Robert Redford, Sean Connery.  I got a little more serious about my inspiration when I looked to Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. for that inspiration.

 

What I didn’t realize was that while I was busy looking outside my home for my inspiration, the greatest inspiration in my world was living with me every day.  I’m proud to say that although it took me some time to figure it out, it was my dad who has truly been my greatest inspiration.  People wouldn’t consider my father an extraordinary man.  He didn’t fight in a war.  He didn’t cure a disease.  He never wrote a book.  He didn’t accumulate great wealth.  He didn’t lead a nation.  All this immigrant from Ireland did was finish his education, work – without missing a day – for nearly 50 years (35 with the same company), stay married to the same woman until she died 40 years later, was home every night to help raise three sons, visited his mother at least once per week and made sure my brothers and I had plenty of responsibilities, understood right from wrong, and understood that choosing right was the only option.

It’s a cliché I know but my dad was there in the good times and the bad.  There was a lot of laughter in our house.  There were also a lot of tears.  Besides the challenges my brothers and I provided, my dad was faced with watching my mom struggle through physical illness and multiple surgeries throughout her life.  So often he was as much a caretaker as he was a husband.  His challenges were greatest though when I was a junior in high school.  That was the year my mom attempted suicide.  She spent considerable time in what we called then a mental institution, trying to deal with clinical depression.  We were all thankful that she eventually recovered.  Through it all, my dad stayed by her side, stayed connected to us and most importantly – stayed.  I don’t know what my brothers and I would have done if he would have decided that it was just too hard and left.  My mom passed away 19 years ago.  My dad remarried 4 years later.  His second wife had two granddaughter who was neglected and abused.  And because he couldn’t stand the thought of such horror for a child, at the age of 70, my dad adopted and helped raise a 14 year old girl.  He just kept doing what he always did – sacrifice for others.

I thought the world of my dad when I was a little guy.  In high school I came to believe I was much smarter than he was and all of a sudden I was making mistakes, learning lessons the hard way.  By the time I had my own sons, my dad got smarter again.  Just in time because quite frankly, if I had to go through this being a father stuff alone, I don’t know what I’d do.

From the time I left Philly and came to Iowa to go to college, I talked to my dad every Sunday and often during the week.  Sometimes we had a lot to share, sometimes not so much.  But I’m grateful for every one of those conversations. 

 

The last conversation I had with him was during Holy Week of 2012.  He died on Good Friday.  He was 77.  Although he certainly didn’t take away the sins of the world, it seemed appropriate to me that God chose Good Friday to bring home a man who had sacrificed so much for his family and others.

 

My dad is gone but his inspiration lives inside of me.  The model he was for how to live a life is something that will never die.  I can only hope to be the half the man he was.

 

So how does this play out for you.  I guess all I’m saying is that when you’re looking for inspiration, look to two places.  Look to the Cross where you will find the ultimate inspiration.  And look inside your own home.  If you really pay attention, the inspiration may overwhelm you.

 

 

Cleared for Takeoff

 

This year’s NFHS Winter Meeting, a professional conference for Executive Directors of State Associations was held in San Francisco.  Great city.  Great trip.  Great conference.  The only snag I hit was on the trip back to Iowa when the first leg of my flight was delayed by two hours, making it impossible to catch my connecting flight in Denver.  Like any good administrator, I went into problem-solving mode and was able to rebook a later connecting flight.  So, at least the end of this story had a happy ending.

Flight delays happen for a variety of reasons – mechanical trouble, weather, planes arriving late from previous destinations, etc.  The delay I experienced was caused by a lack of recovery time for the crew that was assigned to my flight.  When I was notified of the delay, the cynic in me was tempted to think, “Seriously?  What’s the big deal?  They couldn’t suck it up for two hours?”  But we all know the FAA has rules in place regarding required rest and recovery time.  Those rules are in place to protect those of us flying.  I have a deep (but unspoken) appreciation for a flight crew that is well rested, alert, and on their game.  If you don’t share that same appreciation, I suggest you see the movie, “Flight” starring Denzel Washington.  Yes I was inconvenienced by the delay but when it came out of concern for my safety, I can live with that.

This “rest and recovery” concept got me thinking about the value of similar guidelines for those of us in administrative/leadership positions.  While there are no laws requiring a minimum period of rest and recovery for superintendents, principals, assistant principals, athletic directors, and other administrators prior to performing our responsibilities, it stands to reason that we are all more likely to be at our best for those we serve when we have taken care of ourselves.  We are the “pilots” of our staff, our schools, and our school communities.  It is our responsibility to be at our best to navigate whatever journey we are on with them.

 

The importance of our physical and mental health cannot be overstated.  The unfortunate reality is that too many of us pay much less attention to our health than we should.  Too often we neglect ourselves in order to make time for those we serve.  In that respect, I must raise my own hand and say, “Guilty.”  Need to meet with me?  “My schedule is tight, but I’ll squeeze it in.”  I didn’t get that report done so, “I’ll take it home and work on it tonight.”  Fatigue is real.  Exhaustion is real.  Anxiety is real.  And as much as we try to fight through and “rise to the occasion,” at some point it catches up to us.  We aren’t as “sharp.”  We become impatient.  We aren’t as supportive to those we lead.  We may even withdraw and do more alone and less with others. 

 

There is a necessary energy that comes with being a leader.  That energy comes from taking care of ourselves.  We can give nothing when there’s nothing to give.  Nutrition, exercise, rest, and finding time to decompress are necessary components of creating the kind of energy needed to do our challenging jobs.  A good friend of mine, Wisconsin Interscholastic Athletic Association Executive Director Stephanie Hauser reached out to those of us in neighboring states this week and reminded all of us to take care of ourselves, noting that we do so little for ourselves because we are so busy doing for others.  She suggested we all make a commitment to take better care of ourselves and to encourage us quoted Jon Gordon who wrote, “Remember…a promise to yourself is just as important as important as a promise to others.  If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, don’t give up on it.  Your promises matter.”

 

Of course, the important question is how do we do it?  With no laws or regulations requiring us to “rest and recover,” how do we ensure that we have the energy to serve our students, staff, and communities at the level they deserve?

 

Commit to a lifestyle.  It doesn’t have to be an overhaul but make a few changes that can make a difference.  One of my favorite books is Jeff Olson’s The Slight Edge.  He makes the point that small changes can make all the difference.  For example, a person who doesn’t exercise doesn’t have to start by trying to exercise an hour a day.  By exercising (walking, jogging, elliptical, calisthenics, etc), even 20 minutes a day, at the end of the week that person will have exercised over two hours more than he/she did the week before.  I have a post-it on my bathroom mirror with four dots on it.  Each dot is a reminder to do one thing that will help me live healthier – exercise at least 30 minutes, read at least 30 minutes, no alcohol, no soda.  My goal is 15 dots or more per week.  I keep track of the dots per day on my calendar.  I’m not proud to say there are weeks when I fall below the goal.  What seems to help place those dots on the calendar is to think achieving something for the people I lead rather than thinking of it as something for myself.

Set aside “non-negotiable” personal (and in some cases professional) time.  We pay great attention to our calendars.  Some might say our calendars run us.  So, if we want time to ourselves (or time for uninterrupted work), we must schedule it.  Our Finance Director Jess Morgan has a short saying on her desk that states, “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.”  There is no such thing as time management.  Time will pass and we cannot slow it down, speed it up, or stop it.  What we can manage is how we spend that time.  We schedule important meetings, calls, events, etc.  In some respects, through requests, it is others who take control of our calendar.  We need to take that control back.  Back to back to back meetings is a recipe for exhaustion.  We need time to reflect and process.  We also need to schedule time for ourselves to do the things that contribute to our physical and mental health.  If that sounds selfish, remember that in the end, a healthier, more energized leader has a positive impact on everyone.

Delegate.  Too often we take on more than needed.  Sometimes we do that out of a sense of guilt – not wanting to “burden” others with responsibilities we could do.  Sometimes we do that out of a lack of confidence in others – believing no one could do it as well as we could.  Instead of thinking of delegating as putting a burden on someone, try thinking about it as providing opportunity for others to develop.  Instead of a lack of confidence, delegate in a way that shows others you believe in them.  Offer to serve as a resource if they need you.  Sometimes a situation makes delegating the only option and it is during those times we learn that those on our teams are more than capable of handling the responsibilities.

 

Put down the phone.  At the very least, limit the number of notifications you get by adjusting settings.  That “ding,” as we know, can be difficult to resist.  While I understand the thinking that staying in the loop is important, I also understand how “sucked in” to our phones we can get.  Looking at one message or email often leads to several minutes (if not more) tapping, scrolling and viewing.

 

Reflect.  End each day by asking, “What did I do today to be the best pilot I could be for the people I lead?”  If the answer is nothing, it would seem we have failed those we lead.  That will only be true, however, if we follow up with another day of doing nothing.

 

As leaders, we have a multitude of responsibilities, some more challenging than others, and each of those responsibilities impacts others.  Flight crews have laws and guidelines that require them to at least get the rest they need.  In the absence of laws and guidelines, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves to be at our best.  Think of it in terms of Maslow's Pyramid.  Unless those foundational level needs are met, there's no getting to top where we can make a difference.

 

We are the pilots.  Let’s make sure we’ve done everything possible to be able to say, “all systems go” when we have been cleared for takeoff.  Our “passengers” are depending on us.