Following the 2022 NBA Championship, Giannis Antetokounmpo shared his thoughts on ego, pride, and humility. In simple terms, he explained that focusing on what we’ve done in the past is ego. Focusing on what we might do in the future is pride. Focusing on what we do in the present is humility. He went on to talk about how important it is to him to stay humble. Let that soak in for a minute. A professional athlete with so much success, talking about staying humble. How contrary is that to today’s culture of “Look at me. Recognize me. Celebrate me?” Sometimes if feels as if we live in a world of three year olds looking for attention. And then we come across such an accomplished athlete who, “gets it.”
I try to read as much as I can on the topic of leadership. Antetokounmpo’s words reminded me of a book I recently read titled, Ego is the Enemy. It’s simple message is, “be humble.” Because when we put ourselves first, we’re not really serving anyone. And if we’re not serving anyone, what impact are we having on the world? Ego is the Enemy got me thinking about just how ego or selfishness can creep into our lives and grow like an organism. It becomes so routine that we don’t even notice it. Selfishness becomes the habit that is fed by our ego. So it’s important from time to time to reflect on and evaluate ourselves in order to keep our ego in check. It’s a valuable exercise to compare our ego to our humility. So whattya think? How are we doing?
Those who are humble, listen. They listen actively, intently. They want to understand, even those they disagree with. Whether in a conversation with one other person, a discussion with multiple people, or a presentation if a room full of hundreds, the humble person invites others to speak, to share. The person driven by ego has a lot to say. Their listening is patronizing. They simply wait (and sometimes don’t wait) for the other(s) to finish so they can say what they have been thinking. Ego drives us to make sure others know what we think. It is sometimes said, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you need to find another room.” People filled with ego are always looking for the other room. They are sure they are the smartest in the room. Humble people understand they can always learn, can always get better. Ego leads some to believe they have already arrived. Are we listening? Really listening?
Those who live a humble life put others first. They praise. They acknowledge. They provide opportunities. They offer support. Ego leads us to put ourselves first. To take credit. To leave others out. To seek attention, sometimes at the expense of others. Humble leaders are backstage, making sure others have the support they need to be successful. The person fueled by ego takes center stage, a place where the lights make it hard to see others in the room. Where do we see ourselves, place ourselves?
Humble people understand that words matter. Humility guides us to be careful with our words. Humble people stay “above the line” when speaking to or about others. Those driven by ego make sure to speak of themselves often and when they do speak of others frequently do so unkindly. The ego seeks to put others down so as to appear to lift themselves up.
Failure is an inevitable part of any journey and life in general. Ego leads us to blame others and blame circumstances on the setbacks we experience. And the reality is that sometimes we fail despite our best efforts. It is ego, however, that keeps us from admitting the failure and finding ways to overcome it. When we are humble, we accept that we are imperfect. We see failure as an opportunity to learn, to get better. I know it may sound corny, but in my coaching days, I refused to use the term, “loss.” We listed our record as W-TSB. Wins and Temporary Set Backs. Corny? Maybe. But it was part of our culture to look at failure as something that could and would be overcome.
To be effective leaders, it’s important to keep our egos in check. When ego drives us, it becomes a case of, “I have seen the enemy and he is me.” Even success is short lived when it is driven by ego.
Let’s follow the advice of Giannis Antetokounmpo and focus on the present. Let’s be the models of humility for those we lead. Let’s serve those we lead. Let’s allow ourselves to be imperfect and commit ourselves to continuous growth. And most importantly, let’s develop future leaders who leave ego outside any room they enter.
